Flaws in my life

As usual, the midnight is raining. My female dog Lucy is howling badly. i thought she might be wet like always and not happy about it. so i didn’t mind. but after a while she howls again. so i went to the window to have a look, both dogs seem ok. but this time i felt something not right because the way lucy howls is like she is seeing “things”. Though nothing was wrong at that time. So i went to bed.

The next morning, i woke up from my bed because of Lucy’s barks(both of the dogs always bark badly as they want to eat breakfast). Slowly, i walk to the toilet to take shower. As i was showering, my dad knock the door and say my male dog Spoty just passed away and he is stucked in the Longkang. i was so shocked. i was thinking how is it possible for a big dog to be stucked in that small longkang?? so i quickly put my cloths on and ran downstairs.

i was extremely silent and stun!! the way he passed away is really… pitiful…

the food is all around the floor.. and he was there stucked in the middle of the longkang with the legs facing up the sky. As my dad is scared of the deads, it is up to me to do the job. i suggested to my dad to call the vet or someone who knows how to deal with this. but he wants to do it on our own.

So i went to the body and pull the body up. it is very heavy. i didn’t want to think too much and i dare not look at the face. Finally, after struggling to pull it up and i injured by back a little, the next thing to do is to put it into the big black plastic bag. it was a problem as i was doing the progress all alone that time. the time i spent with the body was too much. i started to feel bad and look at the face. Spoty must have been suffering. that was i thinking. the sad feeling came up but i could not cry. In the end my dad came to help me. Both of us wrap the body up. then my dad asked me to go in. he will clean up the mess.

After a moment, my dad called me again. the big black plastic bag has spoiled. as i wanted to go and take a new big one, my dad said take the small plastic bag will do. that was apparently bad idea because the plastic bag get spoiled even worst. So we just move the body with own hands to the opposite field to bury it. i tot that was a bad idea. the hole my dad dig is not deep enough but he said ok already. i cnt do anything though…..

after i went in to the house, i tried to study but fail as the scene had mentally affected me. i played Rachmaninoff’s prelude and moonlight sonata, hoping to distract myself from the incident. Yet, i feel uncomfortable. so i went to watch Love Guru. Aint any better. I sms Derek and told him everything. i felt better for a few seconds. Then my sister called me to talk about the trip. i told my sis about the incident. After that, i felt better. few minutes later, my mum called. i could not hold any longer. i burst in tears. i was crying so loud until i could not control myself any more…. it’s really hard for me to c such scene….i told myself after that i aint goin to have pet…. it’s really heartbreaking seeing them like this.

R.I.P Spoty 30 october 2008

~ by jessicatjy22 on October 30, 2008.